Corrections_Today_March_April_2023_Vol.85_No.2

were taught to be more optimistic by learning to identify pessimistic explanations (My friend didn’t call me, he must hate me), dispute them (What evidence do I have that this is really true?) and then generate more optimistic alternatives (Maybe, he’s too busy). They were less depressed for an entire two years after the program” (Lyubomirsky, 2007, p.109). I personally experienced a reframing utilizing the STOR technique (Stop, Take a slow breath, Observe and Respond rather than react.) I was viewing an anti-racism video where this woman was making some racist and hateful comments to another person. My initial reaction was anger and wanting to tell the woman off. I stopped, took a few deep breaths and observed my reaction and the woman’s behavior. I then responded with compassion that was a lot more effective at initiating a conversation. A common saying is you don’t have to believe everything you think. It is not our thoughts, but our belief

they are true that cause suffering. This happens when we don’t inquire if we absolutely know they are true. “Mary shouldn’t behave that way!” Well, if Mary didn’t behave that way, she would be someone else, because that is how Mary behaves. Wanting reality to be different from what it is, is hopeless, and it causes stress. It should have happened, because it did in fact happen. It doesn’t mean you like it, condone it or approve of it or that things can’t change in the future. Which is more empowering, “I shouldn’t have lost my job? or “I lost my job, what can I do now?” (Lyubomirsky, 2007) Forgiveness Another aspect of attitude is forgiveness. Practice forgiveness for any resentment you hold. We forgive not so much because the other person deserves it, but because we deserve it. Negative emotions and feelings create disorder in our brain’s regulatory system and

has a damaging impact on our well-being. Holding on to a resentment is like taking poison hoping the other person will die. It hurts us, not them. The Buddhists put it this way, holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else when the time is right. You are the one getting burned. Forgiveness is a personal process and there has been much written about it. However you practice forgiveness, you will know you have forgiven someone when you truly wish them well. Spiritual belief The last two aspects of how we think are belief and goals. Having a spiritual belief in something bigger than us, something to lean on, provides a sense of purpose and meaning. Feeling part of a larger community counters de-isolation. For many it may

Optimistic thinkers don’t deny the negativity in the world, they just choose to put more energy in seeing the positive.

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